‘How can I help?’
‘What do you need?’
‘Can I bring you something?’
I love you. I love you for asking and I love you for thinking of us. I love you for wanting to make this better. The kindness that has poured into our home for the last 6.5 months has been astounding, and the way you’ve shown up for us in the last six weeks we’ve been talking about the flu has been incredible.
We’re so grateful. You’ve carried us when we weren’t sure how to stand, and still you’re reaching out to keep us going. I don’t have an answer for those questions – we have what we need right now, and I love that you want to take care of us, but the parts that are broken aren’t so easily treated. Hugs and time and a compassionate ear are all we can ask for ourselves right now.
However.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot and there is something you can do for us. One of the biggest tragedies in a child’s death is that they leave us before they have any time to build their own place in the world. Jude’s time here was so short. He didn’t get the chance to figure out who he wanted to be and what he could do. We have a canvas hanging on the wall at our house, outside our bedrooms, on the way to the play room. It reads:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
I’ve always loved this and I thought it was a nice reminder to keep where we would all see it every day. Whatever our kids grow up to be, I hope that they’ll be happy, kind, and excited about the world. And I hope that they always consider how they might make life easier for someone else. I hope they’ll know the value in reaching out to help someone, and see how even the smallest act can have a major impact in someone else’s life.
So this is what I’m asking, if you’d like to do something to help us. Go and spread some kindness in the world. Give to a charity that’s important to you. Buy coffee for someone. Donate blood. Donate toys. Get a flu shot. If you want to do something extra to send love our way, go do something good for someone else in Jude’s honour.
And then tell us.
Tell us about whatever big or tiny thing you decide to do to help make someone else’s day a little brighter or easier. We all have something that Jude doesn’t have now: time. Let’s use it and help each other.
No action is too small. Indeed, sometimes the smallest things in the world can have the biggest impact. Like Jude. ♥
And everything that you tell me you’ve done in Jude’s honour I’ll write on a note and post in my hallway, and remember all you beautiful people out there who are giving me the greatest gift I could ever ask for. You’re remembering my little boy, and that is everything.